Is It a Personality Quirk or a Mental Health Condition?

People have always described me as ‘quirky.’ You know, the kind of person who rehearses imaginary conversations in their head, preplans an exit strategy for every social situation, and always—without fail—meticulously plans every detail of a trip, even if it’s just to the grocery store. For a long time, I thought these behaviors were a little neurotic, but ultimately, just part of who I am.

But somewhere between memorizing the menu online before ordering (nerve-wracking) and refusing to drive anywhere I might be required to parallel park in front of other people (mortifying), I started wondering: is this really a personality quirk, or could it be a sign of a mental health condition?

Brushing off our idiosyncrasies as harmless quirks is tempting, but where do we draw the line? Is it just a part of who we are, or could it be something more serious? When my habits started to feel like they were running the show, I decided it was time to dig into this question. So, I reached out to some mental health experts to get their take on telling when such quirks are a part of your personality—or if they might be a sign of something that needs more attention.

“A behavior that seems quirky to others might be deeply troubling to the individual experiencing it,” says Dr. Robert Cuyler, chief medical officer of Freespira. “That’s why professional evaluation is so important–it provides an objective assessment and can offer peace of mind or necessary treatment tailored to the individual’s specific experiences with anxiety or trauma.”

Differentiating Between Personality Quirks and Mental Health Conditions

Personality quirks are traits that are just part of who you are. Mental health conditions, on the other hand, impact mood, behavior, and thinking. These conditions create distress and impair your ability to function. Examples of different types of mental illnesses include anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

How do you know if your habit of creating elaborate routines for everyday activities is just a quirky trait or something more? On the surface, the line between the two can seem unclear. However, mental health professionals rely on specific criteria when making the distinction, such as any significant distress caused by a symptom or behavior.

“When trying to determine whether a behavior is just a quirky trait or a sign of something more serious, therapists look at a few key things. They check how much the behavior impacts daily life—does it make it hard to get along with others, do your job, or handle day-to-day tasks? They also consider how severe the behavior is and how often it happens,” explains Dr. Caroline Fenkel, DSW, LCSW, adolescent mental health expert and chief clinical officer at Charlie Health. 

Let’s examine each of these factors more closely to get a better idea of where your own behaviors might fall.

Impairment: Does It Interfere with Your Life?

The biggest red flag is whether the behavior interferes with your ability to function normally in your daily life. Quirks are harmless habits. Mental health conditions, on the other hand, make it really difficult to function.

For example, your love for order might be fine if it’s something you enjoy doing. If it means you spend so much time organizing and rearranging that it interferes with actually living your life, it might be more than just a quirk of your personality.

Dr. Cuyler explains that for conditions like PTSD, mental health professionals look for symptoms that significantly impair a person’s daily functioning. These symptoms represent something more severe than a normal stress response.

If it’s something that makes it hard to manage your life at home or work, causes distress, or interferes with your relationships, it’s worth digging deeper to see if it might represent a symptom of something like an anxiety disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

Severity: How Intense Are Your Behaviors?

We all have traits, habits, and routines that set us apart. It’s when these behaviors become intense or overwhelming that they might be a sign of a problem.

“In anxiety disorders, we might see persistent, excessive worry that’s disproportionate to the actual situation or panic attacks with physical symptoms like racing heart or shortness of breath,” Dr. Cuyler explains.

For example, there’s nothing wrong with being highly organized. However, if the thought of something in your home being out of order sends you into a full-blown panic, the severity of that reaction may be a sign that it’s a mental health condition, not just a strong love for tidiness.

Occurrence: How Often Does It Happen?

Distress and severity are important elements to consider, but a doctor or mental health professional will also consider how often such behaviors occur.

If it’s a once-in-a-while thing, it might not be something to worry much about. If the behavior is more frequent, compulsive, or uncontrollable, then it may be a sign that something more serious is going on.

For example, most of us check the locks before bed or leave the house. But if you feel compelled to do it over and over again before you can sleep, that’s a pattern that might signal an anxiety disorder or OCD.

That’s not to say that quirks and habits don’t occur frequently. They can and do! However, when considered alongside impact and severity, frequency can be a critical indicator that behavior is more than just a quirky habit.

When Quirks May Actually Be a Mental Illness

Our quirky behaviors can be a big part of who we are. Maybe you always eat your meals in a certain order, wear specific ‘lucky’ outfits for important events, or answer questions using your favorite movie quotes or song lyrics. They are personality quirks that are usually harmless. They don’t create distress or interfere with your ability to live your life.

For example, I was a shy child. I’d spend huge chunks of my day worrying about social situations that were days, weeks, or months in the future. Smaller anxieties continued to grow until they reached a point where I was avoiding anything and everything that might trigger those nervous, panicky feelings. What had started as just a quirky behavior in a naturally shy, introverted kid had morphed into a more serious anxiety condition.

That’s why it can be helpful to learn more about how mental health conditions can manifest. By being aware of the problems that might come up, you’ll be better able to recognize when something has veered from a habit to a maladaptive coping mechanism or into a symptom.

“For example, someone might dismiss hypervigilance as simply being cautious, but if it’s rooted in trauma and significantly impacting their life, it could be a sign of PTSD,” Dr. Cuyler says. “Similarly, what seems like typical nervousness might actually be an anxiety disorder if it’s persistent, excessive, and interfering with daily life.”

When should you start to worry?

Watch for Changes in Behavior

Start by thinking about how the behavior has changed over time. Something that used to be harmless or even enjoyable might now seem like a burden. For example, cleaning might have once been a pleasurable activity, but now it seems all-consuming, exhausting, and anxiety-provoking.

Consider the Context

Rachel Marmor, LMHC, the Chief Wellness Officer at PAIRS Foundation,  also recommends considering the context in which a behavior occurs. Is it something that happens all the time, or does it only occur in specific situations?  In some cases, behaviors that seem harmless might actually be a way of seeking comfort or dealing with emotional pain.

Assess the Impact on Your Life

It’s also important to consider how the behavior affects other aspects of your life, like your relationships. Do these behaviors make it hard to maintain healthy relationships? Are they stopping you from getting what you want out of life? If you feel like your quirky habits are holding you back or leaving you with a pervasive FOMO, it’s time to take a closer look at what’s really going on.

What it all comes down to is how these behaviors affect you. Your quirks and eccentricities shouldn’t bring you down. You shouldn’t feel like they are taking over your life or interfering with the things that you really want.

Examples of Quirks vs. Conditions

That said, it isn’t always easy to tell the difference between a quirk and a condition. It often takes the expertise of a trained mental health professional. However, it can be helpful to look at a few examples:

• It might be a quirk if you follow a specific morning routine because it helps you wake up refreshed and ready to start your day. It’s more likely a condition if you get super anxious or irritated if something disrupts your routine, often to the point that it upsets your whole day.
• If you like to have a clean, well-organized home because it helps you stay motivated and productive, it’s most likely a quirk. However, if the time you spend cleaning and organizing is interfering with your ability to function and leaving you feeling distressed and frazzled, it could be a sign of a condition.
• It’s probably just a quirk if you like to plan ahead and arrive on time to avoid last-minute complications. It could be a condition if you spend excessive amounts of time planning every detail and become extremely anxious, panicked, and unable to cope if something unexpected happens.

Why It Matters

If you’ve been living with a quirk that might be a condition, you might wonder if it really matters. This is especially true if it’s something you’ve been dealing with for a very long time. The answer is: yes, it 100% matters. Even if you’ve been managing, it’s affecting your well-being, so it’s important to take steps to address the issue.

Spotting the signs early and finding ways to address them can help you prevent future problems. Sometimes, you can do this by making lifestyle changes, being more mindful, or using self-help strategies, but it might also involve seeking help from a mental health professional.

Checking with a professional can also have another important upside. It can be really freeing to understand which behaviors are linked to a condition and which ones are just part of who you are. Not every behavior should be treated like a problem that needs to be solved or eliminated. 

Seeking Professional Help

How do you know when it might be time to reach out for a little extra help? If you’re worried about the behavior, it’s a good sign that you should look a bit more closely. While learning more about yourself is a great place to start, it’s important to leave the diagnosis to the professionals. If you are concerned, there’s really no substitute for expert advice.

“If you’re unsure about a behavior, it’s important to reach out to a mental health professional. They can provide a safe, non-judgmental space to explore these behaviors and help figure out whether it’s just a personality trait or a sign of something more serious,” Marmor explains.

What should you expect during your appointment? A mental health professional typically asks detailed questions about your behaviors, emotions, and thoughts. They’ll also want to know a bit more about your life, medical, and mental health history.

This process aims to get a clearer picture of who you are and what’s going on in your life. Knowing more about your background and the context of your behaviors can help them make a more accurate diagnosis.

Getting the right diagnosis ensures you get the help you need when you need it. The specific treatment your therapist or doctor recommends depends on the nature and severity of your symptoms and specific condition. Therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, and self-care can all play an important role in managing mental health conditions.

If you have a quirk that makes it hard to function, negatively affects your life, and creates distress, talk to a doctor or mental health professional. Even if you’re unsure whether the behavior warrants professional attention, consulting an expert’s always a good idea. They can provide clarity and insights to help you better understand the situation.

Takeaways

We all have unique idiosyncrasies that make us who we are, and in most cases, they aren’t something we need to worry about. While I can look back now and recognize that I clearly had an anxiety disorder as a child, my anxieties have lessened with time (and some good old-fashioned CBT). According to the experts, my nervous habits today are quirky but no longer rise to the level of a mental health condition. 

The trick is to stay mindful of these tendencies and know when to take a step back before they take a toll on your well-being. For example, forcing myself to do the things that make me nervous helps keep my anxious quirks from getting out of control. What that looks like for *you* may depend on your situation and the behavior you’re concerned about.

That said, if a behavior is distressing or interferes with your life, don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor or mental health professional. But don’t be afraid to embrace your quirks! There’s nothing wrong with arranging your book collection according to color, talking to your plants, or doing whatever else brings you joy. Just be aware of how such behaviors affect you to ensure that they build you up instead of dragging you down.